I Don’t Wear Pants, Which is Probably Why I’m Happier Than You

pie chart about wearing pants

When my husband came home from work and found me with my naked rear end hanging out from my closet, I’m sure he thought it was an invitation.  “How you doin’?” he drawled,  his voice half muffled, because my head was buried in a mound of clothes. “Don’t. Even.” I growled, emerging from the bottomless pit of […]

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Tidings of Discomfort and Toys: Merry Christmas Mom, to Everyone Who Isn’t You

Tidings of Christmas Cheer

Christmas, Thank You Sweet Baby Jesus, is finally over. All the guests have gone home, TO THEIR OWN HOMES, and your house is finally empty. Except for your kids—they remain.  You couldn’t convince any of the guests to take them. Which you sort of understand—they really are impossible creatures. The stockings hang flaccid on the […]

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